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Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
Mark Twain
Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.
Mark Twain
Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold.
Mark Twain
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
Mark Twain
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
Mark Twain
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
Mark Twain
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
Mark Twain
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
Mark Twain
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
Mark Twain
George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.
Mark Twain
If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.
Mark Twain
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
Mark Twain
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Mark Twain
In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
Mark Twain
It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.
Mark Twain
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
Mark Twain
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress.
Mark Twain
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
Mark Twain
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
Mark Twain
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